I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
