New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
