Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
