Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
