Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
