So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
