Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
false alarm, still single
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
