DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
