i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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