I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
