I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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