I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize