there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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