well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
