He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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