Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
