Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
