I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
