Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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