So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
