Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize