i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
