at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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