My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
