You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
