quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
