Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The ass gains better be worth it
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