Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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