i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
