AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
handjob tips. give me some.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
