i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
ugly people sure do ruin things
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
