can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
