I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
