you would pick up someone in the library
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize