Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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