i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
