I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
