would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize