is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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