About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
