she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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