Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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