My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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