Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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