I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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