saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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