I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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