so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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