I think i sorta joined a cult last night
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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