I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
