Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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