end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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