Why are handjobs necessary in class?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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