Say something about gay babies.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
