I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Drunk is not a location!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
