dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
