sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
