Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
