I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
