I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
