I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
