He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
