the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
